Don’t worry… I’m still breathing. If I’m honest, at times during this transition I’ve felt like that’s all I’ve been doing. While I’d like to say I moved out to Boulder, found a job, a place to live, and built great relationships right away, I can’t. That’s probably not a shock to anyone seeing as that is simply not how transition works. It’s been a challenge. I’m finally starting to feel settled after a month, but the use of the word settled is relative.
I’m still living with a family from church but they’ve been a huge blessing to me. They’ve welcomed me into their family and made me feel at home. Lisa, the mom, has gotten me plugged into her bible study. In addition, we’ve recently started a tradition of Tuesday game nights.
I’m just starting to develop relationships. It’s been tough to find people I really connect with. I frequently find myself doing the comparison game of the friends in my life back home to the girls I’ve met out here. Let’s be honest, it’s not a fair game to play. As Seth is always quick to remind me, my friends back in Madison have about 3-23 years advantage on them. It’s simply going to take time to develop those kinds of relationships here.
I’m still jobless… kind of. The job hunt has been tough and exhausting. Days on end staring at a computer screen searching will make anyone go crazy. I’ve had a couple prospective jobs that have fallen through for one reason or another. Each time it gets harder as you build up hope only to have it smashed. I have begun substituting with an after school program and will be doing that until I find a job. I have an interview for an athletic training position with an orthopedic clinic. It would be part time in the clinic and part time at a high school. This may be the ideal job for beginning a career in athletic training. After having so many ups and downs during this job hunt, I find myself not wanting to get too excited. I get scared that I’m getting my hopes up only to have them dashed again. I don’t think I’ve quite mastered how to be hopeful and yet not have any expectations. Maybe because that’s not possible.
Through all of this God has been teaching me a lot about patience and trust. Sitting around all day every day job searching you begin to feel useless and like you’re wasting your time. As I’ve gotten more settled and am finding things to do to fill my time that has gotten better. It’s funny how many of the lessons I thought God was teaching me in El Salvador about patience, rest, and value I feel like he is teaching me all over again. I guess I just didn’t quite get it the first time…
